I think i’m ready…
I am ready. Here it goes, this is pretty scary for me to post but I know I can do it.
I was recently diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. I have the relapsing remitting type. I just want you all to know my story, make awareness and help others of anyone in the same boat as me or have symptoms just like I did.
Slowly as Christmas approaches, myself and my work colleagues getting dolled up and ready for the work Christmas party! EXCITING! We were picked up from work at 6pm and all ready for the night ahead. In the taxi on the way I wasn’t feeling myself… something wasn’t right. I feel a bit sicky icky, I didn’t think anything of it. I thought it could be just a little bit of anxiety as there was going to be A LOT of people at this work do! So I plodded on.
We arrived, the location was awesome! It was in a barn but this barn was all done up real modern and posh! I loved it! Then the drinking commenced (double vodka and cokes flowing all night) I was eating, drinking and enjoying myself and slightly tipsy!
The taxi home was HORRENDOUS, I felt sooo poorly, sick and VERY SLIGHTLY DRUNK. I just thought nothing of it. (I just thought I had way too much to drink) a typical 22 year old. That journey was room spinning dreadful. I was glad to be home.
As soon as I arrived home I was sick, I AM NEVER sick. Even after I drink, I never am sick and this was odd for me. I thought I had been spiked as my Mum came straight into the bedroom asking me!!! (I didn’t know I was tired and did not “feel” right). I slept it off.
The next day I seemed okay, everyone texting me saying how sore their heads were and I thought I was just hungover too!! That day I slept the majority of the day and that isn’t like me.
Monday morning – back at work before we break up for Christmas! 9 days off, YAY! Now things started to change. I was typing away on the computer doing the usual day to day jobs I had to do. My vision was not right. I WAS SEEING DOUBLE. I had double vision and I mentioned it to my work colleagues who thought nothing of it but I knew I was not okay at this point, I knew my body felt different. I got a little upset in the office which made me panic and everyone else, one of my lovely colleagues rushed me off straight to the doctors (there was not appointment made, I was straight there) and straight referred to the hospital. All this was happening so quickly.
I was referred to the eye specialist the same day. At this point, my right eye had become a squint. After waiting that felt like a life-time I was seen. They did the normal procedure and could not work out what was going on, all I remember is them asking for their boss to come and see what was going on.
I am referred for a CT scan. WHAT? What is going on, why do I need a CT scan? All these questions I was saying and getting no answers back. I was scared. My CT scan came back perfectly fine. I sighed a sign of relief.
I was referred to have an MRI… the same day. Pretty quick and intense if you ask me. Them things you have to lay in are horrible!
The family room
We got asked to take a seat in the family room, the eye specialist came to see us and basically said “I have good news and bad” well this was it for myself, Mum and Dad. Tears, frightened and lost. He basically said I had no brain tumour or anything life threatening but I do have inflammation on my brain. What is that? Me? Have you got the right person? What is going on? I couldn’t speak I was scared my life was OVER. I was referred to York Hospital to see a neurologist.
The day had come to see the neurologist. I did not know how to feel at this point. With NO answers I was glad this day had come to finally get some.
The neurologist did some examinations on my feet, arms, legs, how I walked, how I spoke, eye tests and the list goes on. I was fine. I could walk and do the rest but my vision was still not right although my squint had gone at this point. But what is the inflammation on my brain? My neurologist explained that it could be MS. I didn’t have a clue what this was, I had NEVER heard of it but at least I had answers. He mentioned that if this was to happen all again then they can class it as a second relapse and I would be diagnosed with MS. He said some people have one and haven’t had one for 30 years. This was not my case…
MY SECOND RELAPSE
Still in January my second relapse appeared. This was A LOT worse. Wow, I could not walk, eat, see as I had double vision, I felt sick. I couldn’t even go to the toilet.
Not to mentioned my body from neck below was all numb. Even my tongue!
The rest was a bit of a blur, I just remember waking up in hospital. I was there for about 12 days all in all. It was awful. Not been able to go for a shower or to the toilet on your own, my Mum was there all the time to help me. I lost all my confidence, all of it was vanished, completely gone. It was scary to see that the brain can control you in so many ways. This was the worst experience of my entire life.
I was diagnosed with Relapse and Remitting MS.
I accepted it, I was glad I finally have answers. My life was not over. I had to just adapt to my new life and I was okay with that. Things could have turned out a lot worse. (I say that to myself when I am feeling a little poop!) I am now on medication for the rest of my life and so what? It is getting controlled, I am happy, I am fit and healthy (apart from weekends, everyone loves a good takeaway and some chocolate!) my body has changed, I have good days and I have bad. But don’t we all? I try to live my life to best I possibly can and I take each day as it comes, because as an MS warrior, you have to.